Overcoming Fear in Birth
Fear, losing control, and the birth process
Labour is hard work – hence the word ‘labour’ (and I know some people don’t like the word… neither do I). But the work is not just physical, as women birth their babies, they are journeying through a life changing rite of passage into motherhood. At this time a woman is at her most powerful, and her most vulnerable. Historically and globally, childbirth is a time of danger for both mother and baby. Rituals are enacted in an attempt to ensure the safety of mother and baby. The nature of these rituals reflect the culture in which they are enacted. In medicalised cultures these rituals are technological and medical, focusing on surveillance and intervention. Regardless of attempts to ensure safety, deep down, like our ancestors we know we step into the unknown during birth. Fear is a normal part of birth. It is normal to fear for yourself and your baby. It is normal to fear the changes that will come when this new person enters your life. It is normal to fear how you will cope/are coping with the enormous physiological changes and sensations in your body.
It is unusual to be extremely fearful throughout the whole labour process. However if a mother does stay in that state it could prolonged high levels of adrenaline can reduce oxytocin release (contractions) and placental blood flow. Most women experience a point in their labour where they feel out of control, frightened and overwhelmed. Some call this ‘transition’, and it is usually a sign that birth is close. This is usually the time when most women say they can’t go on, but in reality it is almost over. Victor Turner described the middle phase of a rite of passage as an ‘undoing, dissolution’ and a ‘decomposition’ [of the self] which is accompanied by the ‘processes of growth, transformation, and the reformulation of old elements in new patterns’. I think this is a good description of the transitional phase of labour. In addition, Michel Odent suggests that the intense fear and sense of ‘losing it’ experienced near the end of labour facilitates the physiological process of birth.
Most women will verbalize their fear, reaching out for reassurance, becoming loud and/or angry… often later apologizing for their behaviour. Others remain externally calm, and those around them are oblivious to their turmoil. In contrast, those who are loud, and appear to ‘lose it’ are considered to be out of control. However, appearing calm, and feeling calm are entirely different things. Only the woman knows what is going on inside her head – and body.
Getting real – acknowledging fear
Ask yourself are there any fears coming up?
It is okay to be afraid. The key here is to look at these fears before labour begins so you have a memory of facing them when or if they arise. Also allowing your team to be aware of them will help us better support you if any arise during labour.
Ask your partner if he has any fears? Both of you can write down your fears and show each other. Use love and oxytocin to help embrace them and each other. Oxytocin is a powerful hormone and it is incredible how bringing these fears to the light and creating a safe space of love around them can help shift them.
Write them down, shout them out, paint them, use song to express them, but let them out.
Some fears could be pain, medical complications, life changes, lack of dignity, loss of control, personal or outside expectations, postpartum depression, pooping, being naked in front of people (or partly naked) depending on what you are wearing.
Medical interventions such as : forceps, vacuum extraction, amniotomy (breaking of your water), episiotomy, inductions, c-sections, medical pain management (epidurals, narcotic.)
Start diving deep into any of these and see if you can look at what that fear is teaching you?
During labour
A lot of people are afraid to go through childbirth because it's such an intense process. Take this time to educate yourself, find out natural pain coping strategies, listening to positive unmedicated birth stories and assembling a Birth Team that will support you along your journey. - Think of this as preparing for an exam and focus on preparing, building up your tool box with new skills. (breathing techniques, visualization cards, pressure points, meditation, essential oils) Listen to your body through this whole process--and show yourself grace in the moment!--allow flexibility just before labor begins so that everything goes off without any hiccups, then…Get on with birthing – as fear arises let it come, feel it, accept it, and deal with it however you need to (be loud, be angry, be quiet, reach out for reassurance, take time to be alone, breathe, whatever). It will pass, and you will birth your baby into this world! You are not alone. Surround yourself with a strong support team, together you can and will birth your baby!